A Year in Haiku

I decided to broaden my cultural horizons by writing a series of haikus.  This is my first attempt at this form—in fact, it's my first attempt at serious poetry—so please don't be too harsh.

Naked winter trees—

dead, bare, clothed in ice and snow—

where animals rest,

are clothed in springtime.

The young buds burst into bloom;

eyes open to sun.

The sun brings summer;

its vibrant rays herald warmth,

its fires ablaze.

The ghost of the flames

decays, is lost to autumn.

The cycle repeats.

Comet Sonnet

I am writing this quite pointless sonnet
about a big lump of ice in the sky.
That big lump of ice is called a comet,
“How on Earth,” you may ask, “does that thing fly?”
The answer, my friend, may seem rather strange,
but hang on a moment, and I'll explain.
The reason is gravity, “You're deranged!
That makes things fall!” you interject again.
It is all about its orbit, you see.
“Like how the Earth orbits the Sun?” you ask.
Yes, of course, that is quite correct, says me.
I'd explain but I must now end this task,
     because, as you can see, I'm out of time;
     this is, I regret, my very last line.

A Collection of Short Poems

A Couplet About a Cook

I have a friend who is a good cook.

When he hurts himself he says, “Oh, darn!”

A Quick Limerick

There once was a boy from Limerick,

Who felt just a little bit sick,

'cause he ate an orange.

I've rhymed myself into a bit of a corner here...

I feel like a bit of a... wally.

My Rabbit's Habit

I have a little rabbit.

He is a lot of fun.

My rabbit has a habit

of dressing like a nun.

A Lament for Bob

Bob got sliced

      and diced

           and chopped

and his life was quickly stopped.

I don't know what thing him enticed

      to chase after a group of mice.

But that he did, the silly fool,

      thinking it would make him cool.

He ran under a gleaming axe;

      not just one, but stacks of packs!

He hit a shelf, and down they came,

      like a storm of hard, sharp, rain.

He didn't mean to, you have to see,

      he did it inadvertently.

It was a daft and dangerous act,

      but it occurred, and that's a fact.

Perhaps it's because he was so fat,

      from eating enough to feed a cat.

He'd eat enough in every day

      to feed said cat for all of May!

This wasn't how I thought he'd die,

      chopped to pieces like a pie.

I thought heart disease would get him first,

      or that his stomach perhaps would burst.

His grave took me a while to dig,

      because, you see, it was so big.

Six feet long by twelve feet wide;

      enough to fit a man and bride.

I'm struggling now to find a rhyme,

      and I'm running out of time,

And so I'll end how I began

      to tell you of this foolish man:

Bob got sliced

      and diced

and chopped

     in B&Q, the DIY shop!

YouTube

YouTube commenters are so insightful,
The things they say are just delightful!

Every comment begins with OMG,
and I feel that they relate to me.

Because I, too, think HE IS SOOOO COOL!!!!!!
How I wish YouTube weren't blocked at school...

YouTube must hold the record, I think,
for the most dots in an ellipsis or wink........................ ;;;;;;;;;;))))))))

Another thing that's pretty nimble
is the clever use of symbols. :) _,.-*'*-.,_ ̼⌂̺͛ᴖ̲̿ᴥ̲̿ᴖ̺͛⌂̼

YouTube seems to be the place
for people who can't tie a shoelace.

I will offer a thousand yen
if you can show me where and when

a single video on the site
has every comment spelt just right.

(That's £7, by the way =P)