Chickens in the News

This developed out of a bit of a joke about completely stupid and pointless news headlines on IRC, and got a bit carried away.  I can't take all the credit; while the best ones are mine, I have to credit Irunongames and AlexandrDmitri for some of these.

• Chicken crosses the road
• Chicken hit and run on route 66
• National day of mourning for hit and run chicken
• Experts say chicken wanted "to get to the other side"
• Chicken murderer tried for genocide, commentators say UN "overreacted"
• Sarkozy faces crisis over chicken incident; trade unions say roads are not safe
• Poultry & Game Union calls strike over recent death of colleague
• French Army to lay down arms after chicken strike
• David Cameron starts talks with the Chicken Protection Party to form a new government; divorces Nick Clegg
• Chickengate: Obama makes a statement
• "Chickengate" scandal escalates as David Cameron is caught on microphone calling chickens "bigoted", forced to resign
• Chickens revolt on farms: stop laying eggs
• Poultry & Game Union leader calls pay "chicken feed", campaigns for higher wages for union members
• Fox News reveals dead chicken had affair with Tiger Woods
• Chicken protesters hurl eggs at abortion clinics
• Fox News says Chickengate "was Obama's fault", points out that no chickens died under Bush government
• Sun newspaper devotes page three to chicken breasts
• KFC burned down by colleagues of the dead chicken
• Somalian pirates capture ship, demand 1,000 chickens in ransom
• Chickens capture Somalian pirates, demand 1,000 bags of grain in ransom
• YouTube blocked in Pakistan for showing videos of chicken being run over
• The Sun: Hero chicken is still alive!
• Study shows The Sun sucks
• The Sun: Chicken was involved in non-noteworthy sex scandal 5 years ago
• Express Newspaper: Chicken may be Diana
• Daily Mail: All chickens are immigrants
• Daily Mail: Labour MPs claimed expenses for attending chicken funeral
• George Bush kills all chickens; possible genocide
• Rational people say Chickengate "blown out of proportion"
• Breaking news: chicken was al-Qaeda suicide bomber
• Experts claim chicken was "too chicken" to be suicide bomber
• People Magazine's top 10 chickens of the 20th century
• Bush calls for invasion of "Chickenland", but fails to find it on the map
• Bush used chickens in extreme interrogation techniques
• Poll finds people have stopped caring about chickens